by James McCandlish
Gossiping, Gold-digging, nagging, holding on too tight-these are among the top things women do that turn men off, says author Jennifer Bawden.
"Women looking for a man often don't realize the way a man thinks-what brings him close and what makes him run," said Bawden, author of "Get a Life, Then Get a Man." "They send out the wrong signals and then wonder what caused their date to flee."
Here are the top male turnoffs, according to Bawden, who's also a model and dress designer to the stars:
GOSSIPING: Criticizing other women's looks or intelligence is a type of female combat, a way to verbally eliminate the competition. But men don't feel comfortable with a woman who sits around bad-mouthing others. It makes her look small and petty.
GOLD-DIGGING: No man wants to think his wallet is the main attraction. And many men feel that when a woman's first question is "What do you do?" it's the same as asking them how much money they make.
NAGGING: Men get offended when somebody is constantly pointing out where they've stumbled or how they could have done things better. No one likes to be criticized.
HANGING ON TOO TIGHT: Some women cling to a man for dear life. They can't pick a movie or restaurant without his advice. They depend on a man for everything and call several times a day. This drives men crazy.
JEALOUSY: It's self-defeating. The best way to stay close with a man is to give him his freedom. If he's trustworthy, give him a break. If you know for certain he's cheating, move on.
NOT SAYING THANK YOU: Men hate it when they go to the trouble of arranging a date, picking a woman up and taking her out, then at the end of the evening not even receiving a thank you. Make it a point to call later and say thanks again.
INSECURITY: Men are comfortable with women who are comfortable with themselves. When a man offers a complement, he hopes you'll accept it and thank him rather than brushing it off.
DWELLING ON PAST RELATIONSHIPS: A man assumes that if a woman talks endlessly about her past relationships, she's hinting she's not interested in him or is not yet over her latest ex. Men can also feel threatened when asked to divulge details of their own relationships.
CHRONIC WHINING: For chronic complainers, nothing is ever right. Men feel that with a whiner, they're expected to solve all of her problems.
BABBLING: Some women chatter on and on about superficial things like what their hairdresser said or what someone was wearing. Find something newsworthy or funny to talk about - anything is better than girl talk.
OVERPACKING: Traveling with a busload of suitcases is the sign of a prima donna who expects her companions to carry bags for her. If it can't fir into a pull-along carryon and one smaller tote bag, leave it at home.
KEEPING HIM WAITING: In an interview, one guy said: "A man would never keep people waiting for him while he put gel in his hair or groomed his beard. Yet you often hear women saying, 'But I'm putting on my makeup,' as if that's a good reason to keep anybody waiting for 45 minutes."
…and the secret test guys keep to themselves:
A secret test passed down from father to son, brother to brother: Unlock her door first and then see if she leans over to unlock yours. If she doesn't it's a sure sign she's selfish.