(NU) - Are you tired of wasting your time on men that are only looking for instant gratification or are more into themselves or their gadgets than you? Do you have women friends or relatives who are dating men you don't like because you know they could do so much better? If so, there's something you can do. Jennifer Bawden's book, "Get a Life, Then Get a Man," teaches women how to take control of their lives first, then find a man that is a good fit. 

No matter whether you need a self-help book or want to help a friend help herself, "Get a Life, Then Get a Man," is a book all women should pick up and read before trying to pick up men. 

"Before I read the book, I never approached men. I always waited for people to come up to me," said Andrea, a 31-year-old in a pharmaceutical sales career. "After I learned how to identify who I wanted to meet and then meet those men it became so easy and fun." 

Enid, a 38-year-old psychologist and mother, said she took Bawden's suggestion to ask a man she liked on the first, second and third dates. "The proactive approach obviously worked because I've ended up getting married. I also followed her career advice and I was motivated enough to go back to school and get my Ph.D. Now I have started my own clinic." 

Bawden's book proves that it's OK for women to make the first move. It helps women get over their fears and feel natural and relaxed when they approach men. Bawden explains how and when to call men and what to say so the men don't feel threatened. And she gives tips on the top 15 things most women do that turn off men. 

Further, Bawden tells how to identify certain "character types" of men, including:

• Mr. Instant Coffee. "He's looking for instant gratification. Exciting, impulsive, irresponsible, and even immoral, his steeping come-on quickly becomes iced." 
• The Fisherman. "With patience, he delivers the last lines, lures and tackles. Never happy with what he's got, he's constantly seeking a bigger catch." 
• Bond, James Bond. "He's not afraid to speak his mind, and enjoys playing devil's advocate. He's got the latest gadgets and works best alone." 
• The "Whine" Steward. "He's focused on accumulating and is judgmental and critical. He's angry at the world and pulls everyone down with him." 
• The Chess Player. "Always scheming and planning, he will achieve his goals at any cost. Manipulative and aggressive, he's afraid he'll never have enough or that what he has will be taken away." 

If you want to find Mr. Right or help someone find her perfect man, then pick up a copy of the women's guide "Get a Life, Then Get a Man," available at any Barnes & Noble bookstore, Amazon.com or the author's Web site, JenniferBawden.com.